It's the most common thought in my mind, I feel like...
I feel like taking photographs, but I can't just go wandering around as the opportunity arises, the weather sucks, my ankles hurt (broke them both a couple of months ago) and I can't justify funding suitable lighting to effectively take photos indoors. So I don't take photos.
I feel like fixing up my broken house, but the state of my house just reflects the state of my mind - messy. There's always more to do to it but I give away half of anything that will increase it's value till I'm free of previous legal encumberments.
I feel like watching films, but I know I won't concentrate on them so what's the point.
I feel like company, but company is complicated. It means many things and the company you get is not always the company you want.
I feel like writing code, but my brain won't settle on an idea long enough for it to become a mathematical model of reality that is stable in my head.
I feel like setting up my new Raspberry-Pi HiFi computer in the living room (it rocks), but I need to do a lot more before I can make anything permanent in the living room and I won't sit in there on my own for any length of time so what's the point.
I feel like making something wonderful to eat, but there's only me to eat it and I won't care if I eat or not. It wouldn't be the first time in the last few years I've made a wonderful dinner and thrown it all in the bin a couple of hours later.
I feel like going out and socialising, but it takes a lot at the moment to even walk out the door and I just can't afford it most of the time.
I feel like catching up on work, just to help out, but work hasn't given me a pay rise in a few years now so my inclination to help them out when I've never got any spare cash to have fun with is limited.
I feel like... so many things... and yet they all seem to have their own counter feeling creating a general state of mass ambivalence.
Stalemate.
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Big Scary Doggo
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I think you've seen enough of my posts on G+ to know that's pretty much how I approach life in general. As you well know the problem is removing the barriers to doing that one thing. Sometimes those barriers are real and it's hard to distinguish them from the imaginary ones, but that's the trick isn't it.
ReplyDeleteI have a philosophy when it comes to equipment, I got it from Johnny Cauty, brother of the infamous Jimmy Cauty. It's not the tools you have available to you that defines what you can do. If the tools you have are inferior to those you desire then learn to use those tools to do things no-one ever knew they could do. That or blag the stuff you need.
I know I am not alone. I'm well versed in the reality of the human race.
I appreciate all my friends be they IRL or in the ether. I've lived in the Ether for over 20 years now and have friends all over the world who are as close as any who've lived in my immediate geographical location. I thank you and wish you well with your own daemons.